Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Male Bathroom Etiquette

There is absolutely no reason why this has to happen, but it does. Guys should absolutely know better, but they don't. Women probably won't understand the issue here, but as a man, if you've ever used a urinal in a public place, you know what this is about.

I shall explain.

At my work, the bathroom on the bottom floor has 4 urinals in a row. One day I enter the bathroom and I go to the first urinal, closest to the door. No one else is in the bathroom. As I zipper down, the bathroom door opens and someone else enters - and he goes to urinal number 2, RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Now as any man knows, that is just simply not allowed. If you walk into a bathroom, and someone is using a urinal, and there's no one else in there, you do not go to the urinal next to that one person there. You go to the one next to the one next to the person, at the very least. Think of it as breathing room.

OK so that was annoying. But then it gets worst. I don't know this man who was right next to me - I knew who he was, but we'd never been formally introduced. He turns his head to me, as we're both doing our thing, and says "hey how are you."

"Hey, how are you."

I mean seriously, you couldn't wait until we were washing our hands? If the stream hadn't started already, I probably would have been dammed up! I mumble "fine, how are you," thinking (hoping) that would end the conversation.


It wouldn't.

He went on to talk about what a nice day it was, how nice the weather's been, how strange that's been for this time of year, and I'm thinking dude, you're strange. You do not go to the urinal next to someone else if there are other urinals open, and you most assuredly do NOT TALK TO THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU!!

I think it's weird to talk to anyone while in the bathroom, but I think if you're going to talk, you need a minimum of one empty urinal between you and whoever you've decided to annoy.

On that note, talking between stalls is strictly prohibited.

People who use their cell phones in the bathroom are just strange. I'm sure whatever you're talking about is extremely important, but it seriously couldn't wait for 2-3 minutes, 5 max? Do you really think that because you're using bluetooth it looks ok? It doesn't.

So guys (and girls) if you're unsure of the rules, you can use this game as a lesson: http://games.download3000.com/play/the-urinal-game

In fact, use it as a life lesson.

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