Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I Don't Like It

I am fascinated by this couple in Israel who named their daughter "Like." I don't like it, but I'm fascinated by it. The joke I made on Facebook (where the idea to name the girl "Like" came from), is that the first thing the kid did was to unfriend her parents.

I was joking, but no one can tell me that this kid is going to be happy with the name. First off, only celebrities are allowed to get away with giving their kids ridiculous names. Sure, the kids will have horrendous names, but they'll be rich.

Secondly, what are the parents going to say when the child asks them why they named her "Like"? Let's go through that conversation:

Like: Mommy, where did I get my name from?
Like's Mom: Well honey, as you know, your father and I spend 99.9 percent of our waking hours on our computers, so we knew that our children's names would have something to do with our love for the internet. Your father wanted to name you "Waiverwire" and I originally wanted to call you either "Onlinediscount" or "Freeshipping," but in the end we decided that since we both love going on this website called Facebook, your name should have something to do with that. Facebook has a feature called the "Like" button, and that's where your name came from.
Like: But why can't I have a normal name, like all my other friends?
Like's Mom: Well honey because you are special. Your brother Retweet doesn't have a problem with his name.

It's one thing to name your child "Like," which is what will be, like, coming out of her mouth like every other word, but it's quite another thing to name your child "Like" because of a feature on Facebook. Really? Facebook? I hope and pray that when your child does ask you where she got her name, that you lie and tell her it's because you like everyone and you knew everyone would like her. Otherwise, she will very likely be supporting some therapist's family when she's older.

I don't think anyone would like that. Except, of course, the therapist.