Thursday, September 26, 2013

Post NFL Week 3 Predictions

Predictions on NFL Week 3 (based on the results of NFL Week 3

The race for South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney is officially on!  Your 0-fers after week three will be: Bucs, Giants, Jaguars, Redskins, Steelers and Vikings.

Two of these teams are not like the others…I’ll give you a hint which two – they play in the same state. Also, they have no idea who they want as their quarterback. Also, they are terrible. Even more terrible than the other four teams. Also, one of them is so bad a local television station felt the need to apologize for broadcasting one of their games.

The end of week three means it will be time to pick a phrase to honor the teams that will tank to get the No. 1 overall draft pick. I like “Downey for Clowney.”

After week three, the undefeated teams will be: Chicago (Chicago?!), New Orleans, Seattle, New England, Miami (Miami?!?!), Denver, Kansas City (Now you’re just pulling my leg).

Thanks to the Redskins and Giants and Eagles (1-2), after week 3, Andy Reid’s KC Chiefs will have as many wins AS THE ENTIRE NFC EAST COMBINED.

Let that sink in for a little bit.

Reid’s Chiefs will have played more NFC East games than any of the NFC East teams.

That will probably change at some point this season.

Two AFC North teams (Cincinnati and Cleveland) will surprise everyone (including themselves) by edging two NFC North teams (Green Bay and Minnesota, respectively), with the margin of defeat four points in each contest.

In fact, the AFC North will go 3-1 on the week, with its lone loss…Pittsburgh! Boy that Todd Haley signing is working out quite well, huh?!

Baltimore will defeat perennial preseason favorite and perennial postseason disappointment Houston.

Jim Harbaugh’s 49ers will lose back-to-back games for the first time in his NFL coaching career.

In fact, it will be the first consecutive losses for a Harbaugh-coached team since 2009, while he was at Stanford.

For the second-straight week, Harbaugh will lose to a team that features two players who played under him at Stanford, as Andrew Luck, Coby Fleener and the Colts will send the 49ers to 1-2 on the year.

After week three, Harbaugh will still have three games to go against teams with two players who played under him at Stanford: the Cardinals twice (Jim Dray and Stepfan Taylor); the Seahawks once (Doug Baldwin and Richard Sherman).

We could be looking at a five-loss season for Harbaugh and the Niners!

Or we could be looking at a completely meaningless statistic that interests only me.

I predict it will be one or the other.

Dear Chip Kelly,

I’m not going to say I told you so, but I’m making the face. Did you learn nothing from last week?! YOUR OFFENSE WILL NOT WORK IN THE NFL IF YOU CONTINUE TO ALLOW THE OTHER TEAM ‘s OFFENSE TO REMAIN ON THE FIELD FOR 40 MINUTES!! Some might say that your offense is not the problem, that your defense is what you should be concerned with, but how can your defense perform if it’s exhausted FROM HAVING BEEN ON THE FIELD FOR 40 MINUTES?!?! Your longest drive was your first – and that was because your offense was on the field for 56 seconds, threw a pick six, and then was back on the field for another 2:43. In fact, the Chiefs longest drive came in the fourth quarter – it took 8:15 off the clock and resulted in a field goal. Do you think that if your defense was more rested, they would have been able to get off the field sooner?

Your offense needs to s l o w  d o w n. Not all the time – just every once in a while. Give your defense a breather. The longer your offense is on the field, the more rested your defense will be the next time it is on the field, the better your defense will perform. You aren’t coaching Oregon any more. You won’t be defeating these teams 49-0, like you did to Arizona last year. Each team has essentially the same level of talent.

Take a page from the New England, which almost broke the NFL record for total plays last year. Against the Buccaneers, their fastest scoring drive was 3:33, when they went 62 yards in 10 plays. That’s pretty fast. But the Patriots also slowed down, ESPECIALLY in the third and fourth quarters. An eight-play and a 10-play drive, each culminating in field goals, that took 4:15 and 4:44, respectively. A 10-play drive that took 4:41 to end the game.

As yourself this: what offense would you run if you had a lead and the ball late in the game? Then take that offense and run it every now and then during the second, third and early-fourth quarters. 

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