Friday, January 24, 2014

This Hanes Commercial Makes Michael Jordan Look Like A Jerk (But I Can Fix It)

Michael Jordan has been a spokesman for Hanes undershirts for as long as I can remember. Most of the commercials are fairly forgettable (aside from the Hitler Mustache of 2010), but a recent one stood out to me. See if you can figure out the reason why.

Did you see it? Watch it again, for the specific moment this commercial makes MJ look like a giant d-bag.

HE THROWS THE TAG INTO A RANDOM PERSON'S SODA. I mean, who does that? You're sitting there, enjoying the movie, drinking your $20 soda, and all of a sudden some guy throws the tag of a shirt into it. You're not going to drink your soda after that! That's $20 right down the drain! What an a-hole whoever that guy who threw the tag in your soda is!

The ad makes MJ look like, well, MJ. But here are a couple ways Hanes can fix this commercial.

1) MJ shows off his long-range game and throws it into a trash can. Commercial ends with the tag saying "what is that, moldy cheese sauce? NOOOOOoooooo" (fading away). This way it tells people that a) tags are bad and b) throwing trash away into trash receptacles is good. This option would be safe, but boring.

2) This option is my personal favorite. Michael Jordan throws the tag towards the front of the movie screen and it lands in some guys drink. The camera pans up and the drink owner is....future Survivor winner Clifford Robinson! (see if you can pick him out in the picture.) With the camera getting both men in the shot, Uncle Cliffy looks behind him all angry, sees MJ and then drops his head Charlie Brown-style. The camera zooms towards MJ, and he does this:

BOOM. Michael Jordan would still be a jerk who throws a tag into a random person's drink, BUT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS.

Commercial solved. You're welcome.

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