Monday, August 25, 2014

Putting the M and E in Emmys.


You can’t spell the Emmy’s with out M E.

No industry does a better job of patting itself on the back than entertainment. From the Grammy’s to the Emmy’s to the Oscars and everything in between, entertainers LOVE to tell us how wonderful they are, how wonderful their friends are, what amazing work they all do and why we should all watch everything they do ever.

But you know what? Even if we’re watching to make fun of them, we’re watching, we’re being entertained (either by them or my ourselves), so everyone’s happy.

I for one am excited about the Emmy’s. Among other things, I’m looking forward to seeing what Seth Meyers will do with the opening monologue. He helped write Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s opener for last year’s Golden Globes, which was amazing. That said, after last night’s VMA’s, I’m gonna be ticked if Seth doesn’t show any skin. I think we deserve it.

8:03pm: Nice job by Seth acknowledging the writers that make the shows happen. Too bad they were too busy doing their job to be around to hear him.

8:06pm: What’s a VCR?

8:08pm: TV > Movies.

8:10pm: I’m probably not the only one who is surprised that Tony Hale didn’t win. I would have expected Ty Burrell and Jesse Tyler Ferguson to split the Modern Family votes so that neither one earned the award.

8:11pm: Ty Burrell stealing a bit from Steve Carrell. Well, if you’re going to steal, steal from the best.

8:18pm: Louis CK is short and to the point. I like it.

8:21pm: CJ Craig!

8:21pm: I love Allison Janney. From Private Parts to West Wing to everything she’s ever done ever, I love her.

8:25pm: My wife and I just had a conversation about what Julia Louis-Dreyfus will do this year if she wins an Emmy. Last year she brought up Tony Hale, earlier this year at another awards show she brought up Matt Walsh

8:28pm: Crazy Eyes doesn't sound or look so crazy. I'm beginning to think that she may be a tremendous actor.

8:30pm: Modern Family cleaning up so far. Which is funny, because everything the one article I read said that the voters are tired of Modern Family. So nice job prognosticating, folks!

8:32pm: Gail Mancuso is just as funny as any of the Modern Family actors.

8:33pm: Billy on the Street appearance!

8:34pm: Seth MacFarlane?! I don’t think the internet is ready for him to host another show.

8:35pm: I love Billy on the Street, and I loved that bit, and my wife was skeptical at first but at the end she was crying laughing so there.

8:36pm: Julia Louis-Dreyfus gets hotter every year. That is all.

8:38pm: How did Katherine Heigl get Jim Parsons-area seats? I mean, what I’m trying to say is, HOW DID KATHERINE HEIGL GET IN THE SAME SEATING AREA AS JIM PARSONS??!?!

8:40pm: I can't knock Parsons winning again, even though I was pulling for Louis CK. I mean, someone has to show CBS that they made the right move by paying Parsons approximately 7 bajillion dollars an episode.

8:45pm: Brilliant job by JLD – we’re all expecting someone from Veep to come up with her, and she went and kept the Seinfeld bit with Bryan Cranston going. Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant.

8:49pm: Reality show blah blah blah “reality” blah blah blah "nothing real about it" blah blah blah.

8:49pm: “Julia Roberts began her career in television.” Way to explain to us why she’s here, Emmy’s.

8:55pm: I like the idea of the Q&A, but I dunno if it quite worked. Jon Hamm and Juliana Marguiles were funny, the Andre Braugher-Josh Charles bathroom key was humorous, but the rest of it was meh.

8:58pm: Sherlock is amazing, and if you haven’t watched it yet you haven’t been living.

9:00pm: Pretty funny that there’s a TV actress named Julia Roberts. The real Julia Roberts is going to be a little ticked.

9:01pm: I’ll bet Kathy Bates isn’t feeling any Misery tonight!

9:01pm: Seriously, I’ll bet she’s pretty stoked.

9:06pm: You all should watch About a Boy. It’s really funny. No joke, it’s a really good show.

9:08pm: I love Colbert, but that one fell flat.

9:08pm: The Normal Heart had four out of the six nominations in that category and still lost. To one of the stars of Love, Actually. I’m just saying, Martin Freeman was in Love, Actually. Along with the star of 12 Years A Slave. And the star of Taken.

9:15pm: Bad Judge makes me think that someone was a bad judge of what is funny. And that someone is NBC.

9:18pm: We got the plagiarism joke, Matty. We all read the internet. But the joke was funny, all right all right all right?

9:21pm: I am way more excited than I should be that Benedict Cumberbatch won an Emmy. And way more bummed than I should be that Sherlock isn’t coming back for like five years.

9:25pm: Lemme get this straight – Weird Al makes no appearance on the VMAs, but he has a whole segment on the Emmys.

9:25pm: On second thought, I wasn’t planning to watch the VMAs, so this worked perfectly for me.

9:31pm: While I don't think the bit was great, it was an awesome idea and I love Weird Al and that will never change.

9:33pm: Fargo is cleaning up the dramas so far. I really should watch that. I’ll add it to my list.

9:41pm: Ricky Gervais just killed it. I know people haven’t liked him when he’s hosted, but I thought he was funny, and I thought he was tremendous while presenting. The fact that Sarah Silverman won, kicked off her shoes and ran up the stairs only added to my enjoyment of that segment. And I really need to add Dexter to my list.

9:51pm: “Two things that can happen to your car, Key and Peele!” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

9:53pm: As always, Key and Peele crushed. Just crushed. Those guys should really have their own TV show.

9:54pm: Hardwick had me until he said “let’s give out a fancy award to a deserving human.” THEY'RE ALL DESERVING HUMANS, OK? EVEN THE ONES WHO DON'T WIN.

9:55pm: The guy who won had a shocked face, which would have been much more believable if the trophy wasn’t basically already in his hands when the announcement was made.

9:57pm: The one thing I’m going to miss when Colbert moves to CBS is his banter with Jimmy Fallon. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that won’t happen when they are competing against each other.

10:04pm: The grand poobah of the academy is now up, and he’s put Sophia Vergara on a pedastal. Literally. And I have no idea what he said after that.

10:09pm: Peter Dinklage slow clapping for three seconds was like watching a dramatic, angry monologue. I need a gif of that posthaste.

10:20pm: I never thought there was a right or a wrong way to do the In Memoriam, segment, until now. I think the Emmy’s did it brilliantly.

10:26pm: A great acceptance speech always follows “I should have written something.”

10:27pm: At least it was short.

10:33pm: Katherine Heigl is in a new show on NBC. THAT’S why she gets seating in Jim Parsons area. The Truth Is Out There. As is she, if we are to believe the stories.

10:39pm: I am thrilled that Juliana Marguiles won, because I LOVE the Good Wife, and she totally deserves it, but I find it…unsettling, for lack of a better word…that the woman who is skinny like no woman I know in real life opens her acceptance with “what a great time in TV for women.” It is a great time in TV for women, because there are so many great roles, and they're all doing such amazing jobs, but I just wish more of those women didn’t have to look like they never eat.

10:46pm: Are we going to get another “I love my life” here from movie star Roberts?

10:47pm: We’re not! And Bryan Cranston won. I really gotta check out Breaking Bad. Adding it to the list!

10:50pm: Anna Gunn got music'ed out. Bryan Cranston is still going. That's messed up, Emmy’s.

10:50pm: Jay Leno comes on, and immediately tells a tired joke about how long these award shows are. You know, he used to be comedian*.

*Joke stolen from Jimmy Kimmel.

But seriously, Jay Leno used to be HILARIOUS. Then he got the Tonight Show and went completely vanilla.

10:52pm: The Emmys is playing off the cast of Modern Family. I don’t understand their music-off policies and procedures.

10:57pm: And now Vince Gilligan and Breaking Bad are getting musiced off!

10:58pm: So yeah, I guess I gotta move Breaking Bad up on my list.

10:58pm: The show ends! Two minutes early! I guess that means they’ll get permission to do it again next year.

11:00pm: Let the Tuesday morning quarterbacking begin. I thought Seth Meyers did a fine job. Perhaps not as good as Fey/Poehler (but really, that's an impossible bar to reach), but still pretty good. His Billy on the Street bit was outstanding. Key and Peele were tremendous, and I really hope they get to host an awards show soon. Congratulations to all the winners, congratulations to all the losers nominees, and I look forward to seeing what this year will bring in television.

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